- 1 Do you really know how you are?
- 2 When do we experience a loss of identity?
- 3 The 26 questions that will help you get to know yourself better:
Do you really know how you are?
Do you think you know yourself? We all have a pretty clear idea of how we are, but in special circumstances we sometimes react in ways we didn't even think we would be capable of, or that we didn't know completely. Normally, we do not know each other as much as we believe, but it is essential to have a high degree of self-knowledge to seek self-understanding. In order to accept ourselves and establish a sense of belonging, we have to understand who we are. A strong sense of ourselves helps us navigate life and gives meaning to our experiences. Otherwise, we feel lost.
When do we experience a loss of identity?
When we put the needs of others before ours. When we focus on others and neglect, we are not able to recognize and value ourselves and our needs. We minimize who we are and what we need.
Also when we disconnect from our thoughts and feelings. Have you noticed how many times we abstract or even numb ourselves by drinking alcohol, watching movies or series, connecting to electronic mechanisms ...? In our accelerated and ultra-consumer life, we prevent ourselves from knowing ourselves, because we don't allow ourselves to be curious and ask ourselves how we are really feeling.
Another way to "get lost" can be face painful experiences such as a divorce, loss of employment, the death of a loved one or other traumatic events that can result in the confusion of our sense of self, especially the parts associated with our role in society.
When we are aware of this loss of identity we feel ashamed and worthless, and consequently we bury parts of ourselves. If at any time they told us that we are wrong, that we are stupid, or unworthy ... We were criticized and not taken seriously. Or maybe we were embarrassed by our sexual orientation and tried to deny it. We are educated to fit into a certain mold. Therefore, we have to try to be something that sometimes we are not. And after years of doing this, we lose track of who we really are, we lose our true identity.
The psychologist Sharon Martin has created the following 26 to help you find yourself, dare you ?.
The 26 questions that will help you get to know yourself better:
- What are my strengths?
- What are my short term goals? And in the long term?
- Who is more important to me? Who are my support people?
- What am I ashamed of?
- What do I like to do for fun?
- What new activities interest me or am I willing to try?
- It is worring me?
- What are my values? What do i believe in? (Consider politics, religion, social affairs, etc.)
- If I could make a wish, it would be ___________
- Where do I feel safer?
- What or who gives me comfort?
- If I were not afraid, I would ___________
- What is my greatest achievement?
- What is my biggest failure?
- Am I mainly nocturnal or daytime? How can I fix my life to better adapt to this part of my nature?
- What do I like about my job? That I do not like it?
- What does my inner critic tell me?
- What do I do to show myself self-pity and personal care?
- Am I introverted or extroverted? Am I full of energy in contact with others or being alone?
- That I'm passionate?
- What is my happiest memory?
- What do my dreams tell me?
- What is my favorite book? Movie? Music or group? Food? Color? Animal?
- Why am I grateful?
- When I feel sad I like it ___________________
- I know I'm stressed when ______________________
They are quite a few questions and some more difficult to answer than it seems, at least with the heart in hand. The advice is to answer only one or two per day so you can explore them in depth. Work at your own pace. No one is judged and it is not a race. The rediscovery of oneself is a process. It will lead you to think, speak, write and in the end to act.